[because I'm not]

For me this week, Easter is remembering God is capable. Sounds funny doesn't it? I'm serious though.

How many times do I say that but go and do things my own way? How many hours have I spent strategizing, worrying, planning, re-planning, over-analyzing and stressing about decisions, to-do's, undones and relationships rather than following God's command to pray? How many days have I rationalized my own way through instead of allowing God to lead me in sometimes unexplainable ways?

I like rational. I like planning. I like knowing the task ahead, figuring out how to get there and rolling up my sleeves to work.

But while that works for baking cookies, mowing the lawn and writing college papers, it doesn't work in relationships, ministry or life. Because I can't change people. I can't meet every need. I don't always have the answers, and my humanity has limits.

I forget that til I run spiritually dry, like yesterday, and then I'm forced to stop running and ask myself, have I allowed room for God to enter in? Am I so busy relying on my capabilities that I've forgotten His, and Him, in the process?

These things are hard for me to both accept and embrace. My pride and self-reliance enter in. If I could just have 5 more hours every day then I'd really get things done. If I could just do this or that more efficiently, then I'd have time to rest. And that's a dangerous road for me because it's not a trusting God route.

This week God seems to be chipping away at that part of my humanity through different people, verses and situations. And I'm learning once again, that what God brings our way is not about our capabilities but His, not our wisdom but His, and not our power or victory, but His. Like Easter - where we see all three of those in the cross and open tomb.

Father God, thank You for being a big God, a beyond capable God.

Thank you for being the God of thunderstorms, rain, sunrises, forests, shorelines and oceans, majestic mountains and dry, flat deserts.

Lord thanks for being God of both the lion and the ant, the elephants and the sparrows.

Thank You for being God over people, authorities, families, Your church and the nations. Thank You for being a God of relationships, love, joy and peace.

Thank You for being God over disappointments, failures, inabilities, eating disorders, depression, loneliness and all the cancers that eat our souls. Over divorce, broken churches, grief, disease and all the cancers that rob our joy. Over humanity, imperfection, sin and all the cancers that sabotage our efforts no matter how noble they are.

Father thank You that You are also the victor. Over sin. Over death. Over unrighteousness and ungodliness. Over wars and conflicts between people and nations.

Lord God thank You for being big. And God, thanks for being capable, especially because I'm not. Amen.

.